It’s a family affair…

Family therapy involves a different approach because there are several participants in a session at one time. To be honest about what you should expect for the first phase of this kind of treatment, just imagine what goes on in your home when everyone is doing their best to push one another’s buttons to incite a riot. This is exactly what you can expect to happen in the consultation room.

 

Even though airing your dirty laundry in public is uncomfortable, this is actually a good opportunity for the therapist to be able to observe the dynamics of the family.

…So let it out, it’s a good thing. Eventually though, the therapist will restore order and disclose the observations that have been made to help each family member be able to recognize the unhealthy ways in which he/she communicates with each other and the negative impact that this has on everyone involved.

 

Typically, a family elects to participate in treatment when they are experiencing some kind of discord, contention, or crisis.

It is also common for the family to identify one person as the source of the problem. Family therapy is a delicate process, and the first goal is to ensure that all members feel important and that concerns regarding family dynamics are expressed in a way that is sensitive to everyone in the room. The role of the therapist in family therapy is to help family members express their frustration and their needs to one another in a non-threatening manner, so that members can feel safe emotionally in order to hear feedback from one another as well as to provide feedback to one another.

 

Another confession: restoring cohesion to the family system is no small feat.

It will require a lot of tolerance and patience that you may not have at the beginning of treatment, but that you will learn to develop throughout the process. The skills that each family member will learn and be capable of exercising will help so much in terms of restoring harmony, mutual respect and consideration to the family unit because everyone in your home deserves to feel loved, important and happy.

Parenting is a privilege and the experience can be so fulfilling, rewarding and full of joy…especially when everyone is tucked in bed for the night! (Just kidding, don’t mind me!)

 

When you become a parent it is often the first time that you experience a love greater than you have ever known to be possible. Coupled with this love can be an incredible amount of fear throughout your child rearing years.

Many uncertainties may dance around in our head while you try to do the best that you can. For example, “Are we doing it right;” “We don’t want to screw them up;” and “We will never make them feel like our parents made us feel,” are thoughts that many parents experience. As if all of the physical and emotional work that you are doing as parents wasn’t enough, you have a lifetime of these types of quandaries to look forward to. For all of these reasons and many more, parenting is the most difficult job that you have, much harder than anything that you do or have done in your professional life.

If you are a Facebook or Instagram user, you are in on a little secret: people typically post the most presentable images of their family creating the illusion that their family is perfect, happy and proud all of the time.

This is not real life, and as parents you struggle with feelings of guilt for not being perfect all of the time. When you try to ignore the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts that you are confronted with as parents or legal guardians, such as, “I really don’t think I am cut out for this parenting gig,” or “I really do not like being a parent all of the time,” you rob yourself of such an important part of the journey. Talking through some of these issues with a therapist can help you embrace both the pleasures and the pains of being a mom, dad or legal guardian. Acknowledging that these discomforts exist can be a very liberating experience and can often help you to re-engage with your children as well as be a little bit kinder to yourself, which is so important.

 

So if you are a mom, dad or legal guardian and you can identify with these feelings, do not hesitate to take care of yourself by engaging in a therapeutic relationship that can help to normalize your struggle, strengthen your sense of self and get back to your parenting gig like a ‘boss.’